ASD Stress Behaviors and Burnout

For individuals with ASD the stressors and unpredictable nature of daily life can lead to challenges, especially in adolescence and early adulthood for those with lower needs. Many parents note more autistic meltdowns and stress behaviors overtime in the teen years. During ASD meltdowns, the emotional part of the brain takes over. This may make it difficult to impossible for the ASD individual to listen and take direction while they are experiencing and in the midst of escalation. Many well intentioned parents and caregivers try to calm, redirect, and soothe, but since explanations and logic may not be clearly understood this will often worsen and even add to sensory overload and further emotional and behavioral escalation.

In these cases, it is best for an individual to be given the opportunity to safely self-regulate and be given a chance to do so in a safe and secure environment. Body-based regulations like stimming, jumping, etc., are often purposeful and used as coping mechanisms for sensory imbalances. Try not to lecture or direct and use as few words as possible during these moments. Provide reassurance through self-regulation and calming tools. Do not direct or tell them what to do in these moments - let them do what is self-soothing. Observe triggers and calming aspects and when they are calmer discuss gently. What do they tell you helps them to feel calmer? What patterns and routines could perhaps be leading to escalation? Adjust routines and build in sensory downtime based on their patterns and responses to limit or avoid overload. The most challenging aspect of this is that there is no single or universal way to help one self regulate. Monitoring patterns and modifying approaches overtime is best. Some considerations below can be helpful:

Setting a rule in advance regarding where they should be if this is happening in the home, or where others should go, etc. For example in their quiet space in the home, bedroom, bathroom if at school or a restaurant, etc.

Provide personal space and allow them to determine what is soothing when triggered instead of telling them what to do or try. Meet them where they are cognitively.

Maintain respect and keep in mind that a person in a meltdown may be experiencing some trauma from losing control of themselves. It can be an embarrassing and frustrating experience. Let them rest and give them time to calm down and relax after this.

Circle back to them when calm without judgment or lecturing. Try discussing what happened, listen to and acknowledge their feelings, and remind them they are safe. Help them to form mutually agreed upon self soothing tools and routine habits.

Working through the logic of what happened can help with emotional regulation and personal understanding for all. Feeling heard and understood is important.

Remember that a person recovering from a meltdown has just experienced a perceived threat to life - help them to understand what may have triggered that response. Allow them to lead the discussion - listen to their feelings and allow them to work through it.

Routine masking, camouflaging, and stressors such as changes to routine can lead to meltdowns and overtime autistic burnout. Poorly managed anxiety will lead to challenges. Masking and camouflaging involves consciously suppressing one natural behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, which is mentally and emotionally taxing for the individual. Coupled with the exhaustion of attempting to navigate a neurotypical world, run by rules that they do not understand can lead to increased and poorly managed stress and overload. It is important to recognize the signs and symptoms of this so that a dysfunctional cycle can be broken, anxiety managed, and relief supported for the individual.

We work with many families to help in effectively navigating forward and assist in breaking dysfunctional patterns and routines to minimize escalation and stress behaviors.